Jess's Mad Adventures with Grievous
by remnants-2011
Summary: A true MarySue written solely for a certain friend of mine. Really just for her, don't expect much. Her fantasy about a certain general...
1. The All Powerful Portal of All MarySues

_**A/N: Okay, so, must say this…not my idea. This was written merely for the enjoyment of a friend of mine. She's the one with the issues ;)**_

_Jess – Enjoy. You may be twisted, but, enjoy…_

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The hot, mid-September afternoon sun poured through her bedroom window. Suburbia in the fall was not a fun place. Sure, it was merry and plenty busy; all those soccer mom armed with overgrown SUVs littered the roadways and the homework was pilling up. Yet, all that was so easy to ignore with a few simple keystrokes.

Early hours at school, the tedious classes; all of it suddenly became bearable when she was able to enter her room, drop her book bag at the door and log onto her computer.

A smile drew upon her lips as she did just that. She sat down at her computer, giving the office chair a slight twirl. Her short dark brown hair sticking to her forehead, she absently brushed it away with one hand while logging on to her favorite fan site.

The thing about Jess was, well, she was obsessed. While Jess was obsessed with many things, the object burning in her mind for the last few weeks had been one particular fictional android; General Grievous.

Oh, Grievous. She loved his slim droid body, like sun bleached bones pieced together in an unusual fashion. She studied the books telling of his many victories in battle, leading the Separatists. His adventures with the equally handsome Count Dooku, powerful former Jedi impressed her greatly. But most of all, she reveled in the glory of his allegiance with the Dark Lord of the Sith, Lord Sidious.

This particular afternoon however, would not be like any other. The fates were about to smile down upon our heroine, Jess. The infamous 'portal of all ye earth girl Mary Sues' had yet again decided to open and grant her the desire that burned deeply in her heart and make sure everything went smoothly with it's mighty portal powers.

Back to Jess, who was staring deeply into the eye sockets of an online picture of a certain General. She stared at him from behind her glasses, gazingly longily.

"If only," She whispered sadly.

Just then, the portal found it fit to strike. Faster than a speeding bullet, it transported Jess, who now had her arms draped in an awkward hug around the computer monitor to a galaxy far, far away.

Jess had he eyes closed. She had been imagining embracing the General after he had returned victorious from some space battle against that pesky Skywalker. What her friend's saw in that Anakin fellow, she would never know. She had eyes for only one half-humanoid part-machine being. And that was…

"….Grievious!" She shrieked as she opened her eyes. She had gotten dizzy all of a sudden, and found her self opening her eyes to find herself with her arms draped across General Grievous' bony neck. Her mouth dropped open in shock...


	2. Exactly who did she want to meet?

While Jess's look of pure shock my have been a horrid enough sight for our poor general Grievous, upon whom she was currently and suddenly draped across; but to another bystander from the corner, this was a far more awful scene.

Behold, as the Mary Sue wormhole had appeared unexpected, fate in the universe kept on rolling. Jedi Skywalker and Kenobi had just entered the corridor, in search of the captive Chancellor. They had kept quiet, watching, observing the scene. That is, they were quiet until they watched this odd human girl appear out of nowhere and seem to be rather infatuated with a certain General.

"But I'm the one the fan girls want," Anakin called out in a whine, standing up from their hiding place on the balcony above the scene. In horror, Kenobi looked up at him and hissed for him to be silent. Then, thinking better of it, he also stood.

"And if it's not Anakin the fan girls are after, it is most certainly me," He said, make a face of pure angst. "Gets 'em every time," he murmured under his breath.

The handsome two Jedi had most certainly dealt with their own fair share of pesky fan girls, popping out of nowhere. So many times, and each time the girl made them fall in love. It got tiring after a while, but they weren't about to be outdone by someone like Grievous.

Then, from out of the shadows stalked an older gentleman, donning a black cape and thick white beard.

"And if it's not them, at least it should be me." Dooku said in a deep voice. "There must be some mistake here," he finished looking unsure for once.

All eyes were on Jess, still clutching the General's neck in her outstretched arms. Realizing she was still in this position, she dropped her hands hurriedly.

"Well?" Anakin asked expectantly. "I will forgive your error if you start screaming my name now," He smiled arrogantly in that manner that most girls thought just made him so much more appealing. In response to this, Obi-wan elbowed him in the ribs.

"There…ummm…isn't any mistake." She stuttered as they all stared, even grievous stared at her with his beady eyes. "I wanted to meet General Grievous, not any of you lot." She said with a tinge of annoyance.

They all looked at her with a mixture of hurt and plain disbelief.

"Not that I didn't want to meet you all," She added hurriedly, trying to save herself. "It's just; I had my eye on Grievous in particular…"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kenobi shudder. Jess decided to ignore that.

Up until this point, the General had remained silent. Perhaps it was from shock, as this had never happened before. Perhaps it was anger; he did have a large scale military operation that was going on, as well as a hostage to keep.

Anakin wasn't ready to accept Jess's answer just yet either. "But, why?" He cried in disbelief. He ran his fingers through his tangled sandy locks. "I'm the hott evil one!" He pouted.

"Evil?" Obi-wan questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Anakin's face flushed. "Never mind," he muttered.

Jess just shook her head, watching them interact. She, unlike them, knew exactly what was coming. Maybe she should've warned them, but her thoughts were interrupted by an idea of sheer lunacy.

She turned back to Grievous, who still stood there staring at her.

"I want you to come home with me!" She declared. "If I am the Mary Sue of this story, which I do believe I am, I can make anything I want happen." With that, she grabbed one of Grievous's bone-like hands.

"What I want…" her voice going shrill and high, trembling with the fabulous magnitude of her idea.

"Yes?" Grievous questioned, speaking for the first time.

"I want to go to prom with you!" She declared.

With that, the Mary Sue portal knew what to do. They disappeared in a flash of blue light.

"Honestly, I cannot believe it." Anakin declared.

"Get over it, boy," Dooku called from below.

Remembering they were actually in the middle of rescuing the chancellor, the two Jedi leaped into action, as if nothing had happened.

Another day, another Mary Sue.

Life goes on.

While a normal wormhole, or plotline, may have a problem jumping from September to the sudden season of a certain popular high school formal, or more commonly known as prom season; the grand and infamous Mary Sue wormhole has no such qualms about time travel.

This is how, when the wormhole returned our zany heroine and her unfortunate love to planet earth, nothing seemed unusual about them appearing in the middle of a dance floor, and properly clad as well.

Jess let out an involuntary squeal of delight.

Let the games begin.


	3. Prom

While a normal wormhole, or plotline, may have a problem jumping from September to the sudden season of a certain popular high school formal, or more commonly known as prom season; the grand and infamous Mary Sue wormhole has no such qualms about time travel.

This is how, when the wormhole returned our zany heroine and her unfortunate love to planet earth, nothing seemed unusual about them appearing in the middle of a dance floor, and properly clad as well.

As most proms and such similar formal high school congregations including music and dancing do, the normally tacky hall of the downtown hotel was decked out in a variety of decorations and the like. Strobing colored lights distracted the eye from this however, leading focus back to the center of the room, where there was a mass of familiar people all clad in the typical formal gown or tux.

Caught up in the glamour of the moment, Jess found herself grinning as well as emitting a rather high-pitched squeal that the mere sound of ate away at the tattered remains of Grievous's soul.

Before he could do anything, her felt her dragging him towards the center of the dance floor, eager to show off her prize, and while he tried to resist, there is only so much a poor general could do when recovering from wormhole travel while being in a state of continual shock.

Jess stopped after finding a decent niche in the crowd of people and began flailing her arms about. Grievous looked down at her and could not help but feel slightly concerned for to him she appeared to be convulsing to the rhythm of the strange screech-like sounds that filled the room. The more he observed, he decided these humans must perceive the sounds to be music of some sort. He also observed that as people saw him, they edged away and could not help but stare.

His captor, this mad human…child, was rather interesting as well he perceived silently. The general, always calculating, was bidding his time, trying to understand his situation further. This girl seemed to be rather enamored with him, yet had had never met such an entity before. Yes, he decided with narrowed eyes, it was best to observe her for now and make his move later.

Jess however, was not so analytical of her situation. By now, she had reached a high of sorts, reveling in the miracle of the moment. Dancing like she'd never danced before, she knew that she was indeed madly in love with a certain general.

As she thought this, she had yet another one of her miraculous ideas. There was a certain someone here she wanted to introduce Grievous to. Another grin crossed her face, this time one of diabolical evil not one simply of sheer happiness.

With a newfound energy added to her already steady high from adrenaline and sheer happiness, she grabbed Grievous's bony hand and set out across the dance floor in search of a certain ex-boyfriend.

She had ideas of how to put Grievous's collection of light sabers to good use.


	4. Evasion and an ExBoyfried

Like all school dances, they are good for two things and two things only: drama and more drama.

What certainly seemed to be developing into a serious relationship, at least in Jess's mind, this ordeal with General Grievous was not her first encounter with charming, dashing men. One of the men (for the stories sake, we shall call him a man), she was dragging behind her. The other, she was searching for with a sense of crazed, maniacal desperation. One girl can only take so much of her wildest dreams coming true before she begins to snap after all.

"Ah-ha!" She shrieked, spying the back of the tux of that coveted egotistical former love. She reached forward to spin him around; but in doing so she unfortunately had to briefly unhand Grievous for the first time. However, the poor soul she spun around was not the one she was seeking, but just another boy of similar black hair. In disappointment, she sighed.

Had she been thinking clearly, she would've realized the position she was in, being at her prom with Grievous and all. Then again, had she been thinking clearly, she would've realized Grievous should've sliced and diced her into French fry sized bits by now. This is all irrelevant, as Jess's thinking patterns were about as clear as mud.

She blindly reached behind her in search of Grievous's spindly hands of melded bone and durasteel, but she was met with only empty space and the throbbing dancers that surrounded her.

"Oh Sith!" She swore, and loudly too. She turned trying to look for her departed love. Considering the General's full height was just a smidge over seven feet, one would think he would stink out in the crowd, but alas, the brilliant and terrifying infamous General was no where to be seen. Jess's heart began to throb in her chest in panic. She immediately feared the worst, perhaps the portal has just poofed him back to the universe where he belonged. Perhaps he'd been noticed by a mob of raving fan girls, or the nerdy boys from her computer lab. They were always trying to guess which sci-fi characters would win against marvel comic characters. Perhaps something horrid had happened. Like they had used a Gary-Stu portal to bring Mystique from X-men or Lara Croft to battle her poor Grievous! The mere thought made her gasp. In fact, she gasped so hard, she choked.

Jess pushed her way through the crowd, who seemed less willing to part from her when she was not being followed by a seven foot tall droid hybrid. In her coughing fit, she sounded just like her beloved Grievous, and this drew teas to her eyes. Oh, why hadn't she appreciated him more while he was here? And why hadn't they eloped, or at least something wonderfully amazing of the sort?

She didn't even notice when she bumped into that slime ball of an ex she had been searching for only moments before.

"Hey- Heyyyy!" He said, harshly at first as he turned, then annoyance turning into amusement as he saw her.

Jess froze, taking a moment to survey him.

Tony Onlimon was in his element. He was surrounded by slutty girls wearing strapless dresses and too much eye shadow hung on his every side. Short black hair, dashing good looks added to his charm. The tux didn't hurt either.

"So baby, where are you off to?" He asked stepping closer, familiar pervy twinkle in his eye.

Suddenly, Jess remembered why she'd broken up with him and wondered what it was she had ever seen in this nerfherder. Annoyed, she turned on her heel and began striding away. Grievous was much more important to her than this loser, she could see that now. No matter how much she'd wanted to see the look on his face with Grievous by her side, all that mattered to her now was that she found him.

"Hey, not so fast," Tony called from behind her. She felt his tanned hand on her shoulder.

She turned back to face him, her patience wearing thin.

"So, you here by yourself?" He asked with that smooth smile of his.

"No," She began, pausing to remove his hand from her shoulder. "I'm here with someone." She stated.

"Oh really?" He asked with a smile that made it clear that he was only humoring her. "Who?"

"General Grievous." She said defiantly.

He stared at her for a moment, not recognizing what she was talking about.

"Ohh!" He said, laughing as it dawned on him. "That Star Wars stuff again, Jess? For a second there, I thought you might have actually found a real guy to come here with. I guess you cousin was busy, eh?" He said, laughing. He turned back to his group of girls, laughing all the way.

Jess was fuming with anger right now. She stomped her foot so hard, the high heel of her shoe almost snapped clear off. Her teeth were clenched as she continued to make her way off the dance floor.

Finally, she found herself outside, met by the cool late night air.

"Grievous!" She yelled, getting more than one odd look cast her way. Jess found that she didn't care if they thought she was crazy. All she wanted was that tall mostly droid, scheming Separatist General.

"Where are you?" She whispered, leaning again the wall. She slid down, not worry about getting dirt on her dress. That was irrelevant now.

Again, enter the powers of the portal. If you're a Sue (or a Stu) what you wish for will happen. And it will usually happen amazingly fast.

Grievous had seen his opportunity the second she let go of him. This was the precise moment he had been waiting for, and he leapt at the chance. His insect like grace allowed him to slink off with swift ease away from that mad human child.

He had a battle to return, there were Jedi to be killed after all. He just had to understand the strange world and find out how to get home.

Actually, he had covered a remarkable amount of ground when he suddenly found he was no longer moving forward. He was running in a fluid manner that had kept him traveling rather quickly, but now no matter how fast he ran, he could feel himself slowly being drawn backwards. It was like swimming against the tides.

To say the least, the general swore loudly, mostly in his native tongue. All the cursing of the blasted human girl sent him into a coughing fit.

Finally he gave up. There was nothing he could do as the gentle tendril of the mighty portal drew him back to that he so desperately wished to escape. IT appeard that even he, one of the greatest Generals could not evade the power held by a mere girl in the form of some supernatural wormhole phenomenon.

"By the suns of Kalee, damn it," he muttered under his raspy breath.

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**A/N: Wow, thanks for all the reviews! Glad you all can enjoy it, however shocking it may be to me. Jess, I guesss there are people out there as crazy as you:) I'm just kidding. But in all seriousness, thank you bunches! **

**Grievous's Sidekick - Yeah well, you know me. Literlally. This is for you, happy you enjoy it.**

**Theaphelia - Happy to make you laugh.  
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**Skywalker05- Thanks! Haha, yes, well, if i were Grievous, I would kick her too. **

**Grievous Daydreamer - More will come soon, not to fear. Thank you for your reviews! **

** Eleventh Guard - The blatant admittance to this being a Mary-Sue is mostly why I am in awe iof so many reviews. Glad you like the humor, insane as it may be. Thanks.**

**Anyoen and everyone else, thanks. More will come soon! **


	5. The Escapee is Returned

Jess sighed. She had been standing out in the cold for a while now, her hopes beginning to waver. In the back of her mind, she remained focused on her hope that her love, Grievous would return.

She turned and cast a sidelong glance back towards the party, her eyes lingered a moment longer on Tony. Her nose wrinkled in disgust. Jess slowly turned back to her continuous vigil, surveying the dark horizon for any sign of her escaped love.

She was about ready to leave; really, what reason did she have to stay without him. Another sigh escaped her lips as she began to walk away, maybe she would call for a cab.

But then, just then, she saw a glint of metal in the distance. She froze, and slowly turned to look. There! Yes, there he was! Her face lit up with a victorious and overjoyed grin, and she emitted a shrill squeal. For off in the distance, moving rather quickly toward her was Grievous. He was being dragged across the lumpy ground, not particularly willingly either. It appeared as I an invisible hand had grabbed one of his ankles and pulled him back to her, much against his will. Even now, all four of his claw-like hands were pulling at the ground as it flew by underneath him.

"Grievie!" She shrieked with joy, ignoring his blatant unwillingness to be drawn close to her yet again.

Finally though, he was back at her side, standing with what appeared to be as much of a scowl as he could mange. Jess wrapped her arms around his skeletal body in a hug, and he merely gave a series of low, hacking coughs in protest.

"Whatever force dragged you back to me, I thank it!" Jess exclaimed, still wrapped around the alien cyborg. "I love you Grievous!" She yelled.

Well, Jess, you have the wondrous Mary-Sue portal to thank for that. Really, it doesn't get thanked enough for all the hard work it has to do either. Another day, another fan girl or fan boy with their silly desires, how many of them actually take the time to thank the one responsible for all that forced fantasy joy? Well, anyways, to hear her thanks made the portal very happy, and in response used it's mind altering powers to work on the General.

"I, err…" He found himself saying, and I alarm of hearing his voice speak when he had absolutely no intention to say what he felt his lips forming, he desperately tried to cough to cover it up. Alas, it still came through. "I love you too," He choked out through his cough. Blast, he thought, why did I say that? Why?

Jess grinned, unaware and not caring that the General's words were not only forced but inaccurate (or were they?). Simply hearing it made this the happiest day of her life – as if it hadn't already been.

She released him from the hug, and grabbed one of his hand.

"C'mon, Grievie, there's some peoplei want you to meet," She said.


End file.
